Wow.
With this brief bit of time I have between a new epi of Rules of Engagement followed by what hopes to be a fantastic championship game I had planned on gettin' derrty with my MLB predictions and was gonna throw out some goofy Loomisms and talk about how Zack Greinke spent the offseason getting married and training with Bones Jackson in Mutant League and how I had always hoped that B-But and A-Gord (Billy Butler and Alex Gordon) would become a dreaded one two punch on the corner infield at the K and propose a slick nickname that would stick like a dart on a dartboard at the Hair of the Dog. I cannot help myself. I love the Royals. I rock a Royals jersey to work on Opening Day...and I work in Cardinal nation. I've always loved them, and always will. Even if I live in Hong Kong, Brazil, Montana, or with the Mounties up North....who knows where my path will lead, but I'd like to think the Royals path is headed upward. The past two offseasons have been hellacious
. Giving up solid, proven bullpen talent for a fat guy with no on base potential whatsoev and no defensive prospects and an injury-prone centerfielder nicknamed after a cereal really started a downhill slide that you couldn't grasp a tree or comic relief. Greinke seemed solid, yet at times human today. Which is to be expected. Detroit's lineup is not fear-provoking, but does hold a key ex-Royal who was available via free agency. Instead of going after Jerrod Washburn or Erik Bedard...we went after....Rick Ankiel. He is a nice story. Fairytale actually. Leave that noise in Far Far Away. This guy's swing is atrocious. I'd rather sit through a lecture solely based on nails hitting a chalkboard while someone made me chug coffee. That is how the season will go for him. At least with Jacobs we go two things. Two weeks of the Balboni watch and hope mixed with the coolest video sequence at the K all year...the high five exhibition he put on. I love gimmicks. I love electronics. I love when Mustard owns the hot dog derby. But I do not love moving DDJ out of LF so this joker can play CF. Put him in right and enjoy his cannon and have a speedy OF if that's what you are after. This guy will make you forget about Jacobs and Farns. He will be the downfall. Hole in the swing Ankiel, no beavers did not sneak into the clubhouse and notch holes in your bats. That's your swing broheim. The day did not come without bright spots. Getz seems like a reasonable acquisition for a guy that had to go. I still think back to the 06 offseason when the Pirates offered Jason Bay for Teahen, straight up. Blooming Onion (Willie Bloomquist) was showing off the slick fielding that plagued the Royals in 09 and the pen looked even worse. EVEN WORSE. They had an above five ERA and looked even worse. This will be tough to comprehend. For anyone. Greinke has to already be getting frustrated from day one. I did like how we manufactured some runs and B-But did some two-out workmanship. Making something outta nothing, like Hardees makes those tasty biscuits from scratch, every day. DDJ looked great. So at least we have four solid guys to build around, but the question is...what does the remainder of our starting pitching look like? Hopefully not like the 09 Royals. I saw enough of them.
. Giving up solid, proven bullpen talent for a fat guy with no on base potential whatsoev and no defensive prospects and an injury-prone centerfielder nicknamed after a cereal really started a downhill slide that you couldn't grasp a tree or comic relief. Greinke seemed solid, yet at times human today. Which is to be expected. Detroit's lineup is not fear-provoking, but does hold a key ex-Royal who was available via free agency. Instead of going after Jerrod Washburn or Erik Bedard...we went after....Rick Ankiel. He is a nice story. Fairytale actually. Leave that noise in Far Far Away. This guy's swing is atrocious. I'd rather sit through a lecture solely based on nails hitting a chalkboard while someone made me chug coffee. That is how the season will go for him. At least with Jacobs we go two things. Two weeks of the Balboni watch and hope mixed with the coolest video sequence at the K all year...the high five exhibition he put on. I love gimmicks. I love electronics. I love when Mustard owns the hot dog derby. But I do not love moving DDJ out of LF so this joker can play CF. Put him in right and enjoy his cannon and have a speedy OF if that's what you are after. This guy will make you forget about Jacobs and Farns. He will be the downfall. Hole in the swing Ankiel, no beavers did not sneak into the clubhouse and notch holes in your bats. That's your swing broheim. The day did not come without bright spots. Getz seems like a reasonable acquisition for a guy that had to go. I still think back to the 06 offseason when the Pirates offered Jason Bay for Teahen, straight up. Blooming Onion (Willie Bloomquist) was showing off the slick fielding that plagued the Royals in 09 and the pen looked even worse. EVEN WORSE. They had an above five ERA and looked even worse. This will be tough to comprehend. For anyone. Greinke has to already be getting frustrated from day one. I did like how we manufactured some runs and B-But did some two-out workmanship. Making something outta nothing, like Hardees makes those tasty biscuits from scratch, every day. DDJ looked great. So at least we have four solid guys to build around, but the question is...what does the remainder of our starting pitching look like? Hopefully not like the 09 Royals. I saw enough of them.Okay, I'm too much of a child. My 2010 nickname for B-But and A-Gord is Toejam and Earl. You remember TJ&E don't cha? Earl liked to Eat and ToeJam liked to be slick. I wanted B-But to eat pitchers for any applicable meal and Ii wanted Gordo to stay healthy and continue developing a slick glove and stay healthy. Hopefully the six legs would allow him to lift more base
s and be the 20/20 threat we all thought he could be. I get it, being crowned "The next George Brett" at an early age is a lot of pressure. But c'mon brother. You had a bobblehead with a bucket of corn handed out at the K last year, and I gave you a sweet nickname.
s and be the 20/20 threat we all thought he could be. I get it, being crowned "The next George Brett" at an early age is a lot of pressure. But c'mon brother. You had a bobblehead with a bucket of corn handed out at the K last year, and I gave you a sweet nickname.2010 MLB Predictions:
Okay, I admit it. I am still semi-in the mood to drop it and lock it just so I can throw out an I told you so or two at year's end. Projected standings are following my little spiel, I didn't just feel like typing every team in each division.
AL East
Okay. We get it. The Yankees decided to spend the interest of the national debt to field the best team possible. Getting Grandy and Javier Vasquez this year was not only brilliant, but somehow made them even better. They could have handled the Damon sitch better though, he is old and slower but still a leader and clutch hitter. This could give them a bit of problems later in the year and the postseason. They are my pick to win the AL East and have the best record in the AL. Surprisingly, even after giving up Kazmir to the Angels, I think the D-Rays are going to do work and win the wild card from the Red Sox in what may be the best wildcard since 08 when the Yanks and RedSox were in a Halo killathon for victories. I look forward to watching this.
Yankees
LuciferRays
BoSox
Ripkens
Jays
AL Central
Okay, obviously Ii want to throw down a shocker and say the Royals will win it. They won't. No pen and no power are not the way to win divisions. The Twins are solid, like ice outta the freezer. Nathan or no Nathan, no matter. Winners equal them. It will be interesting to see them play outdoors this year at the beautiful Target field. CreamSox have good pitching and will finish second, probably right around 500. Tigers will follow suit and we will Krzyzewski it out with the Indians for the cellar. We will finish in the wine cellar....which is one step above the bottom of the barrel. How cool is this snap I took at the local Gladstone Hy-Vee?
Twins, Basil, Twins!
CreamSox
Tigers of the non-Truman quality
Royals
Feathers
AL West.
I admit it. I've drank the Kool-Aid on the Mariners. I like their offseason acquisitions and I know they can't be as good as Ii think they will be. But hey, it's April! I say they pull the magic carpet out of the Angels, Aladdin style. I've been wrong before.
Mariners
Angels in the Outfield
Walker, Texas Rangers
A's
Playoffs
Yanks v. Mariners
Rays v. Twins
Yanks smooth through in four, Twins get dirty and shock the Rays. It doesn't matter, as the Pin-Stripes pon de replay on last years playoffs and beat the Twins in six.
Onto the Series they go.....
NL East
Cloudy with a chance of Braves. That's right the tomahawks will be back in the playoffs, you heard it here first! As a wild card. Heyward Christian Soldiers is the real deal and you know they are gonna do work for Bobby Cox in his last year. The Phils added the best pitcher in the majors. So yeah, I'd say they improved....plus they have Ibanez, I do love my ex-Royals. Speaking of ex-Royals, hopefully Beltran comes back healthy as Chris Berman after his healthy choice commercials, Ii have him on both my fan-tasty teams. Beltran was and still is the man, sadly the Mets have zero pitching after Don't Mess with the Johan (Santana). Next year? Hopefully. You can't outscore everyone!
Phillies (remember when Corey would rock the Phillies hat to school every day and Feeney would make him take it off? Boy meets world was the Sheezy!)
Braves
Mets
Marlins
Strasburgs
NL Central
Birds. Duh.
Cards
Reds
Cubs
Pirates
Stros
NL West
This one is tricky. My pick is the Giants. Did you hear they are handing out Timmy Lincecum bobbleheads and six of the 20,000 freebombs will have real authentic hair from a clinic in Chicago? Isn't that a bit creepster? Peep it here at http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Hello-dolly-Giants-plan-Lincecum-bobblehead-wi?urn=mlb,231646. As unstellar as their lineup is and as powerful as the Dodgers is, I still feel like the Giants are gonna get jiggy with the postseason. Put that on the chisel for rizzle....at least until the dogdays of summer when I will most likely update my thoughts and flip the script....maybe
Giants
Five D's of Dodgerball
Rocky Road
D-Backs
Padre (ie Father help us we are terrible)
Liberty Bells v. Giants
Tomahawks v. Cards
Upset alert! Braves take the Birds to five games, but the Birds prevail. Phils superoffense knocksout the Giants pitching in four. Remember knockout? That game where you start at the top of the key and try and make a shot before your opponent? Ahhh....Larry Holley basketball camp at William Jewel. Those were the days.
Birds v. Phils
Phils in six.
Phillies win the World Series this year. I hate the Yankees.
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