I'm the oppo of cantankerous

How sick was this week? 102 Degree temp and stay in bed sick. Dinosaur call sick. Iller than Ill Mitch himself (hamburger...french fries).

This week the Blue Crew hopped out of the cellar like a fine wine. The NW Arkansas Naturals are turning heads, Moustakas even had a burger named after him. That my friends, is when you know you have made it. And the Royals have chosen Art Diesel, scout extraordinaire and the one and only Joker (Joe Randa) to rep us at the draft on June 7. Pretty solid choices there, hopefully we snatch up Grandal the power-hitting cather from Miami (FL) or the slick lefty from Ole Miss, I'd be chill with eith. Congrats to David "Sandlot" DeJesus and his wifey on the new kiddo, and his two rbi's tonight from the three-hole to have us disappoint the Red Sox. I tell ya what, that Blake Wood is looking more and more like the real deal holyfield...and Soria notched his 100th save. Smooth like Chester Cheetah, which means he may get his own NES game, hopefully power-pad compatible. On with the show....

Beer of the week:

Magnificent. A revelation. Its like drinking something awesome...oh wait, it IS awesome. Brian Boru from Three Floyd's Brewing company is their Irish Red Ale Seasonal and it is fantasmo. Only comes in tall bott format, obviously because 12 oz simply isn't enough. They tend to outdo themselves and this is really further proof of that, 2010 proof if you will.

Jam of the Week:

Hop into your hot tub time machine. I don't know if everyone is like this or not, but I keep old burnt cd's in my car. Randomly throughout the year I will get sick of my new school mix and just play the claw game sans the giant box and 50 cent (In Da Club) entry fee and just snag one at rando on my driver's side door console. Today was winner x2 chicken dinner. Remember OutKast's Speakerboxxx? Yeah, you know where I'm goin with this, this game appeared on an EA Sports title...Madden or NBA Live and it was the only song I had on my playlist for ages....booyah...it's back...GhettoMusick
Don't thank me, just enjoy

Game of the week:

Red Dead Redemption for X360. I could waste time by making bad Wild Dub West puns about the Will Smith movie or gunslingers that are real and not goofy Duke players, but I won't. This game by Rockstar is the real deal. Think about the first time you popped in GTA III and even with the hype thought it was fantab. Yeah, its like that, except in the west. You can shoot stuff with your shotty while riding on a horse. You can do other cool stuff also...

Movie of the Wizeeek:

Wow, this was like superawesome movieweek at casa de loom. Over the weekend I Netflix'd Sherlock Holmes, Blind Side, watched Four Christmases (Again...I know), caught some classy South Park epi's, and went and saw Iron Man Deuce at the Hi-Pointe. Sherlock Holmes was overhyped and just an okay movie, Iron Deuce did not disappoint and it's hard to not hand off the Moonman to it for the week, but Blind Side. Wow. I know everyone says its good and you should see it, etc times infin....they're right. This is undoubtedly one of the best sports movies I have seen in forever...like since Semi-Pro....and I loved Semi-Pro. Flint Tropics fo Life!

Loomism of the Week:

I've had a few good ones, but this takes the cake. I know nose-picking is a disgusting habby. Everyone does it, discreetly, and it's like your rollin' middle school style and trying to hide something and get it out real quick. Hey, everyone's guilty, does everyone really go to the bathroom to blow your nose? If you can get away with a quick pick why not try. And when you succeed...it's like pick-six...am I right? I know, probably just a guy thing, but when you are goin into the treasure chest for booty, you may roll thumb style and try and get it in one quick sweep, like a Steve Balboni home run. Yes, this my friends is called the thumb sniper. You can even do the Star Wars in your head while you go in for the quick one...stay on target....stay on target....stay on target....

Wow. I am truly blessed to have received my box of fun like a week early. Yes, they actually do manufacture aluminum, plastic, and wood beer pong/tailgate tables. Yes they have most pro sports teams...I mean hell, the must if I was able to snag a Royals one. Beware, this could take over beer dice. How fun was that? We will let the Kauffman stadium parking lot decide, tailgate!


Definite shoutout to partypongtables.com. They did a great job and got my table here on a Thursday afternoon when I placed the order late Monday night. Their site it worth checking out. Deuces.

The Firing of Trey Hillman

Finally, this is a topic that I love, although I had mixed feelings at first and I know about all the statistics and soothsayers around the league that get bankrolled to follow the league say that the manager means very little to a team's success. That being said I agree that they don't have the impact of other sports, but deciding key subs, when to steal and when to bring out the pen are important aspects. Hillman has done some bonehead things in his brief career here in KC. He's held all the players after the game and screamed at them at home plate in front of everyone in the stands for sloppy defensive play and poor baserunning. That was in the beginning...where has it gotten him? Zero by Smashing Pumpkins. Not knowing how to setup a lineup. Zilch. Connecting with the fans? You're joking. Being a media darling? Ha, I think Ben Stein could give a better interview...actually I'd like to see him manage against Ben Stein and see if he can win Ben Stein's money. The front office has ruined (In a Stewie Griffin voice)just about 3/4 of all our talent. I could get my name-out on, but bottom line Hillman, although terrible, is not fully to blame. I love Dayton Moore. He is a bit of an enigma that really plays favorites (Osuna...really?) But youu get the feeling that he would do anything possible to improve the Royals, and he has done a descent job of improving scouting etc and whataburgering up the minor leagues. Starting off he made bold moves and acquired some impressive talent, all to throw it away on the Coco Crisp and Mike Jacobs trade. Jacobs OPS was awful and the fact that youu had him blocking Hawaiian Punch and Ryan Shealy and you gave away our primo setup man is inexcusable. I feel like these will be the moves that he is defined by...well, that and giving Jose Guillotine Guillen Sweeney money to wine, be hurt, and not play the field. Why not take the Kila Punch out for a test drive, we've had moderate success with our minor league players of the year (Aviles much) and although we are a poor team, why not see what we got with Kila and some others. If I was Trey Hillman (Thank God I'm not) I would pull the old Hot Tub Time Machine and Scooby-Do work in this fashion:

I, Trey, am aware this will be my defining season and need to be bold and preach fundamentals. I know going into the season that my bullpen is full of bums. Not the cool British way to say butt, but dudes striving for mediocrity. We always overanalyze September (Ryan Shealy was the next Steve Balboni and Robinson Tejeda was the next David Cone) and setup off those finishes. Everyone knows that September means Bo Diddley, don't need the guy who is most deserving of the Royals Hall of Fame to come out of retirement to play that commercial. Bo Jackson could very well be the most talented Royal to ever play at the K. Arguably top five. I'm just sayin....back to my declaration of Hillmapendence....I play along with the Farnsworth experiment and stand firm on the fact that if Anki-worthless wants to play in KC he's gonna have to earn CF, not sign a contract that says he's gonna play it. You have a near gold-glove LF in DDJ and Don't Tell Scotty is an above average to average CF with great speed. Have Guillen and Ank dog pound over RF and let Kila DH and B-But play first. Putting Gordo in a position to fail didn't help at all, just like the Teahen trade...you're telling me we couldnt have found some sort of unproven live arm from a AA farm system for T-bag? Getting backups for a utility made sense then as I like what Chris wants ChrisGetz (Chris Getz) brings in the form of range, but he is a contact hitter that isn't going to do much for your lineup, just like Ankiel and his canyonesque hole in the swing, didn't take AL pitchers too long to Franky Figs it out huh? I've said this since spring training (me, not Hillman), I like Blake Wood. Does anyone remember when MacDougal came out to loud music and his cap would almost fall off when he would throw in 2003? How about A-Burgos in 2004? Just throw constant heat with little control so hitters are fearful of their lives and save games that way. Joe Nelson, Dotel (established prior to stint with Royals), Nunez even, they had brief successful stints as closers. Having the best closer in the game (arguably) with the worst pen does very little for you. You may lose your job anyways, but why not try Soria out as a starter in spring training? He's thrown a perfect game and used to start, hell, there is even bonus clauses in his contract that cover him starting. Then youu have Cy Greinke, Ill Meche, Soria, Banni, and Boats N Hoch in your rotation. Davies is not a MLB starter, but could be a steady, yet forgettable middle to long reliever. Sad to see we traded Dotel for him, but he has had his good days. Try it out. See what happens. Try Gordo in LF in SPRING TRAINING...I get it, Alberto "Professor Chaos" Callaspo has a solid bat and it needs to be in the lineup. He was cornea surgery waiting to happen while watching him struggle mightily at 2B at times last year. Okay, put him in the hot corner...why did youu get Nate Fields again? Yup...doesn't make sense. Start Farns in Spring Training games and talk the big talk about how he's found his stroke and tempt someone to take a chance on him for some sort of return that doesn't involve us paying his obsurd salary (another great cision Dayton). So I Hillmanize and my lineup is this:
1)Scotty doesn't Know-cf
2)Aviles-2b
3)DDJ aka Sandlot-lf
4)B-But aka Earl-1b
5)Callaspo aka Professor Chaos-3b
6)Guillen or Ankiel-rf
7)Kila Hawaiian Punch Kaa'ihue-dh
8)Kendall aka Rocksteady-c
9)Betancourt-ss

1-Greinke
2-Ill Meche
3-Mexicutioner
4-Boats N Hoch
5-Bebop aka Bannister

CL-Blake Wood...give him a cool name like the lumberjack, or skillsaw(sawin' lumber since 2007), the Viking and he could run in with a Viking Helmet or the scondcoming of Vaughn from Major League...truth is fans love it and it can be difficult for hitters to hit guys they haven't seen yet in the beginning...he can ride the hotstreak like MacDougal in 2003

He proved me right for a bit in his inaugural starts, but has fallen off a tad since...I still have faith

I wouldn't ride Kendall so hard, just appreciate the professional at bats he puts out there daily and the decrease in wild pitches thanks to his blocking ability

I wouldn't have been so quick to get Gordo up in the majors and I would have held pitch counts to 110ish rather than the hundo area...gotta ride the horses and not call for cavalry

Cruz is a bum. He made the roster on the 2008 rep alone of the good ERA in the NL...we wasted a sandwich pick on him...and alotta dough...baseball is an intriguing sport and so easy to monday morning qb...but it is endless to talk about....oh, and the April 24th game against the Twins I wouldn't have taken Boats N Hoch out for Hughes to pitch to Morneau. Big Mistake. Still, I love the agressiveness in base stealing Ii saw so far this year and Ii hope Ned Yost can keep it up. He seems like a more likeable guy that has at least managed in the MLB before and played. Hillman had done neither...he was pretty much destined to fail. So glad I never bought that Nippon Ham Fighters jersey.

Whale Bomb! Hot Tub Time Machine Edition

Wow, I haven't scooby-done work in awhile on this piece....sadly, I've thrown out some interesting knowledge in the past few weeks so I'm gonna throw out some memories and see if it sticks. I think Ii will just get after it Loomism style.

Beers of the Week(s):

1) Corona. This is an instant duh, it was Cinco and Loomo loves Cinco, nothing beats celebrating a battle with the Rolls of Mexican beers, you know I threw a limeboni in there Whale bomb! style.

2) Goose Island Pere Jacques. This was solid and in a three-way tie for top beer at the St Louis Microfest, this concoction was purely magical, but I will give a brief shout-out to the other two for efforts of valiancy...New Albanian's Hoptimus Double IPA and Little Yeoman's Porter. Overall a quality day with quality beers and friends. Looking forward to the St Louis Heritage Brewfest.

3) Shiner Bock. I was recently in Texas (DFW) for a layover. If Ii am in Texas, Ii am instantly in search mode for a Shiner product on tap, luckily this was located at Champps and was so refreshing I went snagzilla when I returned for a shorter layover on my way back. All I could think about was living in the Lone Star State and having that, Lone Star, and Boulevard in my fridge...and not letting any company touch the Boulevard, as it was not sold in the Texas T while I was living there. Man, so many good memories....but I wouldn't go back for anything.

Movies of the Week(s):

Okay, I know Ii am rule violating here, but since they are my own loose interpretation of my own goofy rules, I don't feel bad attall...haha that's like the way a British person would say, its like Ii am giving my weekly blog post British style, fortnight plus one....they say some cool words, fortnight is by far my fave.

1) South Park Season 13 Blu Ray. Yes, Ii am aware this is not a movie, however it has been a mainstay in my bedroom bluray since my last post. yes, that long, (that's what she said). The FishSticks and WTF Wrestling episodes are so baller, and the others are as well, as youu all know my short attention span doesn't really house anything in anything for that long. Congrats Matt and Trey, still on topps rookie card of your game.

2)Star Wars Episode IV. Honestly. This very well may be the best movie of all time. Timeless and awesome and even touting one of the jams of the week. Impressive. I could watch it ovies and ovies without growing bored, its not humanly possible...just ask Oaf. Rankor!

3) Wayne's World. At the condo we were getting our recovery cove on and totes mcgoats forgot about this throwback. I had no idea that's what she said came from this movie, sorry Michael Scott, D-Miff Regional Manny...props rescinded.

Jams of the Week(s):

1) Forever by Drake feat Lil Weezy, Kanye, & Eminem
This jam is so tight I was afraid it would not work in my cd player. It's redic, and I don't forsee it getting old. Ever. Everyone that went on the Destin trip is infin lucky that I didn't have my ipod with me, they would love/hate it within about 2 hrs.

2) Speaking of the Destin trip (off the chain as per use), the second is uber unchar...but it is the Cantina Band by John Williams on the Star Wars: A New Hope soundtrack. J-Will really put it down and laid out a perfect evening beach jam. Nothing beats walking up and down the beach at night dancing to this stroke of brilliance. Well played. We don't serve your kind here! Yes, if youu hadn't figured this out, Ii am a bit of a dork, what can I say...I grew up on Star Wars and its the bee's knees.

3)Airplanes by BOB. Smooth jam and I love air travel. I can only think of two methods of travel better than the airplane....a hot tub time machine and Bill & Ted's phone booth (Sorry, the Delorien just seems like more trouble than it's worth, although I could deal with C-Lloyd droppin' jumpin jiggawatts quite frequently...but it loses out to air guitar and Chernobly, respectively).

Game of the week(s):

1) Little Big Planet (PSP). It starts out slow, goofy, kiddy...mmm tater tots...and suddenly when you are about to rock the eject butt, boom, addicted. Sackboy is pretty suave and the platforming is pretty good at passing time. Well played, and I'm not a big Sony video game guy...but...props

2 (Tie)) MLB 2K10 (X360). Yes, I am still playing this. Yes, I am obsessed with making the Royals good. I am also obsessed with the My Player mode, and am already in season two and have moved to SS because I like B-But(Earl) at 1B and I hate Yunitard Betancourt. He's awful
Civil War, it's like Beer Pong, but awesomer, two teams five players on each side, each has three cups...you do the math...yup no matter how you work out the problem it still equals awesome...TEN PEAT!

3) WHALE BOMB! OKAY, THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST GAME EVER INVENTED. EVER. REMEMBER BASEKETBALL? YEAH, SO GOOD THEY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT IT. THIS TOPS THAT. LIKE SKYSCRAPER TOPS, HIGHTOPS (LIKE OLD SCHOOL LA GEAR OR REEBOK PUMP), THE LITTLE TOPS YOU'D GET FROM CHUCKY CHEESE OR THE ROLLER SKATING RINK WHEN YOU WERE A KID....YEAH, ITS THAT SERIOUS. ALL YOU NEED ARE TWO SPLASH BALLS AND A WHALE SPLASH BALL WHICH YOU CAN TOTES MCGOATS SNAG AT THE TARG...AND TWO BOOGIE BOARDS AND FOUR PEEPS. I GUESS YOU COULD PLAY SINGIES, BUT DUBS IS THE WAY TO GO. STAND A FAIR DISTANCE APART IN A POOL AND TAKE TURNS THROWING THE BALS AND HITTING/TRYING TO LAND ON THE BOOGIE, 1 PT FOR HITTING, 2 FOR LANDING. THEN YOU THROW THE WHALE, YOU LAND IT ON THE BOARD ITS 3 PTS AND SCREAM GREAT WHITE BUFFALO FIRST THE OPPOSING TEAM HAS TO CHUG THEIR BEER. PLAY TO 11, REBUTTAL IS THE WHALE BOMB ONLY AND IF YOU LAND EACH TEAM GOES BACK TO 8-8. PLAY BEST OF 3. LEGENDARY. LIKE MASTER CHIEF LEGENDARY. LIKE KID ICARUS LEGENDARY. LIKE LEGEN....WAIT FOR IT....I HOPE YOU'RE NOT LACTOSE INTOLERANT BECAUSE THE LAST PART IS DAIRY....YEAH

BOOYAH!

Loomisms:
1) Someone gives you a task that is easy or sets you up to make fun. Just give em the ol' that's like an adult playing teeball with the firsties (first graders)

2) Someone is terrible at something and then they are all of the sudden good, or at least descent. Ask if they ran over and got in a phone booth and went back in time, learned whatever it is you are doing and honed their skill. This is called the Bill & Ted (Shoutout to Voorhees)

Seriously, shout out to Whataburger. It is the number uno fast food, which makes it a delicacy, which means I can eat as much of it as I want. Love those loomorules...Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit.

2010 Loom Bracket of Awesome

Wow, April Awareness really took it out of me, I did work to the best of my ability to compile not only my favorites, but some old school as well. I have played every single game on here, so sadly God of War, Earthbound, and a few others were unable to be ranked. Here goes, the #1 seeds, followed by the automatic bids. I feel like the Ocho picked up my live feed, I need a bracketologist!

#1 Seeds:
Hyrule-Legend of Zelda (NES)
Cortana-Sonic the Hedgehog (GEN)
Captain N Division-Super Mario Bros 3 (NES)
Mushroom Kingdom-Legend of Zelda 3:A Link to the Past (SNES)

NES (8):Zelda, SMB 3, Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!, Super Mario Brothers, Kid Icarus, Final Fantasty, Contra, Mega Man 2

Dreamcast (6):Shenmue, Jet Grind Radio, Crazy Taxi, NBA 2K1, Virtua Tennis, Resident Evil:Code Veronica

Genesis (6):Sonic, ToeJam & Earl, Sonic 2, Aerobiz, NHL '94, Mutant League Football, Street Fighter II

N64 (6): Mario 64, Zelda:Ocarina of Time, Mario Kart 64, Chef's Luv Shack, GoldenEye, Star Fox 64

XBox (5): Prince of Persia:Sands of Time, Halo, Halo 2, Star Wars:Knights of the Old Republic, MVP Baseball 2005

Arcade (5):Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Donkey Kong, NBA Jam TE, Golden Tee, Ms Pac Man

XBox 360 (4): Fable II, NCAA Football 2010, Assassin's Creed, Elder Scrolls:Oblivion

Super NES (4): Super Mario World, Link to the Past, Tetris/Dr Mario, Super Metroid

Wii (4):Wii Sports, Mario Galaxy, New Super Mario Bros, Zelda:Twilight Princess

Gamecube (4):Tiger Woods 2003, Zelda:Windwaker, MarioKart:Double Dash, Animal Crossing

Playstation2 (2):Grand Theft Auto III, Guitar Hero

Playstation (2):Legacy of Kain:Soul Reaver, Syphon Filter

Atari (1): Pong

Turbografx 16(1): Bonk's Adventures

Sega Saturn (1):NIGHTS:Into Dreams

PS3 (1):Rock Band

Bubble: scroll to the bracket to find out!

Yes, I realize this may be one of the top ten dorkiest things I have ever done, but whatev, It was worth the trouble and extra work, I have yet to work through the bracket but I can't wait. If you'd like a copy of the brackets via email to fill out in Excel let me know and I will shoot it to you. I will slowly sift through round by round until the Final 4!





Okay....
Somehow the excel formatting is lost when I try to post it up like a big man, so I'm gonna print, scan, then tag it like hotbox.

Ugh
The printing did not turn out fantastic, just email or fb me for a copy of the bracket if you'd like one to see or fill out, so frusterating...it's frusterating (Beerfest...remember that part? It was awesome!)







The email version is much smoother and includes places for your 16/17 matchups, which will be worth 1 pt a piece also. I still would like to write blogs on the downfall of the Chiefs and Royals drafting over the past decade or so if I can. I got to give mad props to the Royals for calling up Aviles and Kai'hue, I love the smallball mindset. Ankiel was awful, the Grand Canyon in his swing is not going to be improving his BA or OPS anytime soon....enjoy the bracket and feel free to comment, I will attempt to check comments frequently as Hoef is the only one who ever comments, shoutout HoefDiggity, Tonka fo Life son!