R.I.P. Hatchi-Tachi

How fire is March Madness? Seriously. It's redic every year and every year everyone gets into it EVERYONE. This, of course, has to do with the Karen's and Jim's of the Office who don't follow basketball but throw down a five-spot and are instantly addicted. We watch guys with terrible hair and goofy glasses talk about it all week and it dominates our everyday discussion. I've talked to more people about this than I ever have about work it seems. The real king of March Madness is Billy Raftery. This guy is no joke. Anyone who loves the simple things in basketball and gets that excited about them, then can instantly calm it down and be professional is a role model, not a Minitour one either, this is real deal Holyfield. "Send it in big fella, the KISS!, and a little lingerie on the deck" symbolize that this guy is spicy. The RIP is the fact that one of the CBS greats, Dick Enberg, who does it all, NFL, MLB, Wimbeldon, US Open, and NCAA basketball is retiring after this year. He is really a class-act, but he landed a gig for the Padres, a team that makes the Royals look like the 2003 Marlins, in his hometown. Hopefully they will let him sneak away yearly for a fortnight and breakfast at Wimbledon. It seems like good things last forever, until they are toast mcghost and then we can't have enough of them. I am more guilty of it than anyone. Think about it, you HAVE to get a drink at last call, but you had free reign on them all night. You could have watched college basketball since November, but now that it's March and captain random chose teams and wants to talk about it with youu youu cannot get enough of it, until next year, its like the tidal wave that leads us to Opening Day, which is by all accounts the SHEEZY. Or the Olympics, which grabs your interest gradually from the beginning and then the last week of it youu cannot believe you could ever live without it and you are screaming at the tv what horseshit it is that there was a point deduction on a jump in figure skating or that you will stay up til 2am to watch some nutjobs do flips in midair jumping off ice. This sets the stage for the final chapter on my 57" Hitachi.
My credit was too poor to get it right when I graduated and was settled in at my job in Texas. So I ate nothing but mac n cheese and pbj so I could walk in at month's end and get it. I'd always wanted it and was enamored with it from the get go. The first thing I did was hook up the NES and play some original Mario Brothers and khackle with glee. This behemouth is the old-school, big-boy rear projection tv and I was in love with it. I took it everywhere I moved to until finally, new ayo technology got the best of me and I had to spring for a good deal on a double-nickel" LED. It is wicked sick, spicy even, but I finally got the ol' Hatchi-Tachi sold on Craigs List for three bills. Kinda sad to see it go, but it is what it is, now it leaves more room for activities (Stepbrothers)! Back to the dance, (Can you feel a severe loomism coming on?) I'd like to give a shout-out to thuggins on getting to the final four in the Ethics bowl against Calipari. No, Kelvin Sampson is not awaiting the winner. Seeing the ugly, throwbackish uni's West Virginia was rockin made me think back...five years ago to be exact...to the unhearalded run the Mountaineers had that year under class-act coach John Beilein. That team was lead by a tatted-up, oversized goofball named Kevin Pittsnogle. This guy was redic. A near seven-footer who could drain threes and had post moves to match? Don't believe it....believe it.


This guy thought he was NBA-ready and so did all the casual March Madness fans. This guy was what Adam Morrision and his All-time 'stache were before it happened. Sadly, this guy is suffering from a thyroid disorder and now weighs over 300 pounds. He attempted a comeback with the Albequerque Thunderbirds of the D-League last fall but retired for personal reasons. He is now living with his wife in a small town teaching middle school and being an unpaid high school assistant basketball coach, hope he is doing well, I wish him the best. We never really think about the March Media-Darlings. Too often they don't graduate, don't reach their dream of the NBA, and just kind of disappear into the abyss. So from now on, when I think of the "Dance" I will refer to it as the Pittsnogle. I hope youu do as well.

I know I am no literary genious...but it seemed like that would be a solid place to end this blog. From now on, I'm gonna try and hit you with a Top Five list of random sheezy. Why not a top ten? I'm not David Letterman...don't have the face for it. Plus, its more effortless...and this I dig. So in honor of the double overtime shock-fest that Xavier and Kansas State put us through Thursday night, I figured that I would throw out my top five college basketball games that I have seen. Ever.

Number Fizzle: The Crybaby game. Gonzaga v. UCLA, 2006 NCAA Regionals. Gus "Big Specs" Johnson called this game magnifiscently as UCLA, led by Laker Jordan Farmar came back and stole the game from Adam "Stache" Morrison after being down by 17. Redic.

Four-Skeet: 1991. UNLV v. Duke. Tarkanian. Towel. Undefeated season. Lost.

Three-Dub: 2009 Big East Tourney. Syracuse v. UCONN. Six OT's. This game was Luda. Back and Forth, give and take. Loved it. Spicy.

Number Twozle: Michigan v. North Carolina, April 5, 1993. This is commonly referred to as the "Time Out" Game. Solid.

Ii was addicted to the Fab Five as a kid. I read Mitch Albom's book, aptly named the Fab Five, like at least five times. I was the first to rock the authentic Michigan game shorts to school and I loved their loosey goosey shorts and black socks. That started the trend of awesomeness. So, obviously, whatever they were up to I was watching. They played great throughout the tourney and left a trail of mischief ultimately leading to Steve Fisher's demise. He now coaches at San Diego State and Webber takes a verbal beating from Sir Charles on Inside the NBA.

Uno: 1992 Duke versus Kentucky. Laettner is the media-darling of the moment and went on to be an average to terrible NBA professional. He went from johnny clean-cut to tatted up Rodman wannabe. He did win a gold medal though.

Honorable Menionisms: Shoutout to the Xavier-KS State game, this was an instant classic, but somehow didn't squirm into the top fizzle, obviously I hate KU and am also not too fond of Calipari so the 08 Championship, while a great game, Ii was going to hate the result regardless so be happy Ii even gave it a shout-out. The Syracuse-KU final was solid and even though I wasn't pleased with the result, the MU-UCLA showdown finished by Tyus Edney was pretty insane.